English Heritage launches ‘bonding benches’ to tackle parental isolation

The great stone circles, abbeys, castles and manor houses that English Heritage manages acted for centuries as places to meet and mingle.Now in an effort to tackle parental isolation, the charity is tapping back into this sense of community by introducing “bonding benches” at many of its most famous sites.The idea is that parents who visit places such as Stonehenge in Wiltshire and Tintagel Castle in Cornwall will be able to meet others who would like a chat about the challenges of bringing up children.A feature of the bonding benches, which are being placed at all English Heritage paid-for sites, will be a sliding notice, which people can set to “up for a chat” or “craving quiet”.As well as the benches, English Heritage is launching communal activities for young families, and hosting National Childbirth Trust (NCT) volunteer-led sling and buggy walks at selected sites.Emma Fernandes-Lopes, the assistant operations director at English Heritage, said: “Modern parenthood can be a really isolating experience. Many parents live a long way away from their extended families and have no support network to lean back on, and it’s often a real challenge to make friends who hold the same values and interests.”She said families made up more than a third of English Heritage visits so their sites were a good place for parents to make connections.“As parents, we are hardwired to prioritise our children’s wellbeing. We bring them out to wonderful places like English Heritage sites to explore the outdoors and expand their horizons. But we often forget that the key to children’s wellbeing is actually found in whether their parents feel happy and supported.”Fernandes-Lopes said places such as castles, stately homes and stone circles had been community hubs. “They were places where people congregated. We want to make sure we are tapping into that.”English Heritage highlighted research from the NCT showing that two-thirds of new parents feel lonely or isolated at least some of the time, and almost 90% feel overwhelmed at least some of the time. Almost a quarter of new parents said they did not have a strong support network around them.The bonding benches will be located in areas where families tend to gravitate, such as near playgrounds or open grassland.Fernandes-Lopes said: “I’m a mother of three and I’ve been there. Parenthood can be a magical time but it can also be tough. I think we’re just very aware that we can play a role in helping with this growing problem of loneliness and isolation.“We’re excited to be installing these bonding benches ahead of the half-term holiday. We feel that we’ve got the space and the spread of sites around England to be able to help tackle this issue. Hopefully parents will be able to make those connections and friendships that will help combat some of that loneliness.”She said the sliders meant parents could make it clear they wanted a few moment of peace and quiet. “We’re very aware that every day for a parent can feel very different from one day to the next or one visit to the next.”NCT walks are to be held at Audley End in Essex, Kenwood in north London, Marble Hill in south-west London, Wrest Park in Bedfordshire and Kenilworth Castle in Warwickshire.Family visitors to English Heritage sites can also pick up an “adventurer’s checklist of tasks”, which include finding signs of animal life, splashing in puddles and making “silly sounds” in echoey places.